Category — Personal love issues
“That there is love truly Conjugial which is so rare at this day that it is not known what it is and scarcely that it is?” Does ’’this day” apply to us? There have always been in the world hundreds of thousands of what are called happy marriages. We must therefore make a distinction between what the world calls happy marriages and genuine Conjugial love. This distinction is seldom made even in the Church.
The great importance of knowing what Conjugial love is; We read: ’’Conjugial love is the very plane of the Divine Influx.” (A.C. 370).
Nearly every one thinks he knows what Conjugial love is from first states of marriage.
Is the first state of marriage Conjugial love? No it is a representative of Conjugial love. A state in which Conjugial love is lent by the angels, from without.
Many of our ideas concerning marriage are formed by the literature of the world.
How does Conjugial love differ from what the world calls “being in Love” as to its basis? Love of uses is the basis.
Do the evil fall in love equally with the good?
The evil often fall in love more ardently than the good. Why?
The evil adore and worship each other during the time they are in love, and there is nothing the love of self desires more than to be adored and worshipped.
Falling in love is by itself natural and not spiritual, in fact as a natural love, man has it in common with certain animals. If there is nothing spiritual in it, it is lower with man than with animals, for man is in the love of self more than animals.
Is “being in love” in the natural sense of the word necessary for marriage? Yes as a basis.
What place should the “being in love” in the usual meaning of the words have? The lowest.
What place does it have in nearly all stories, literature and plays? The highest. It is therefore harmful to become overly absorbed in romantic literature.
What is the nature of romantic love? It is the love of person. By itself, it is the friendship of love, which, by itself, is harmful and can never endure.
What is Conjugial love? Love of use and thence love of person.
When the love of use rules, and from this one loves the person, then also the love of person has its genuine delights which are eternal.
In the first state of marriage Conjugial love surrounds man, from heaven, from without, while the love of self, which is quiescent, is within.
If this state is not inverted, love, with its happiness and joy, de¬parts, for the first state is loaned by the angels and has not been appropriated, and therefore can not endure.
In the first state the young man and woman look to each other as to person; and adore each other. While in Conjugial love proper, they are together as uses, and look to uses in the Lord’s Kingdom, the Church and the country and society. In being united as two uses, conjoined as one, for the sake of uses to the Lord’s Kingdom, the Church, the country and society there is a far greater joy and delight, than in loving each other primarily as to person. The former joy and happiness soon passes away, while the latter increases to eternity. This the natural man can never feel, nor internally believe.